The most addictive drug ever synthesized was invented by Bonnie Tyler in 1991. It is so powerful just reading its name would be enough to get you hooked on it for life. In America, dealers sometimes stand outside primary schools holding up placards with the name written on it. Only the dyslexic are safe.
Keith Richards has never taken a drug in his life: his slurred speech and staggering gait are merely the result of doing too many forward rolls.
Ironically, heroin addicts Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen eventually met their demise after falling out over a jar of Nutella chocolate spread.
Stanis Dunkeld, singer with American rockers White Diarrhoea, once smuggled seventy-four grams of cocaine through customs hidden inside his grandfather.
Whereas The Velvet Underground were inspired by heroin, Eric Clapton by cocaine, Syd Barrett by LSD and Bob Dylan by pot, Keane are inspired by pan-fried venison with a redcurrant jus.
In drug slang, a Happy Monday is when you take ecstasy during jury duty and let the defendent off because he or she is "so lovely".
The first musician to ever take a drug was Orpheus in 3,549 BC. He drank a compound of horse blood and magic mushrooms and ended up standing on a table in his local taverna, stark naked, doing impressions of Poseidon. Eurydice got into a huff and went home early.
Under new EEC regulations it is perfectly permissable for any Rock Star to take up to three drugs, providing they dispose of the wrappers in a responsible manner. The one exception to this rule is Pete Docherty - The head of European Parliament, Natalie Gollum, thinks he's a "tosser".
Clarissa from Steps is so mad for drugs that she once ate a pair of Chinos because a roadie had told her they were laced with MDMA